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| Senior management arrive for work |
At Fundermental Towers University we are always keen to learn from others. Not only are we intending to rename our institution in the spirit of the King’s rebrand, we are pleased to announce that all our academics will be given new and exciting titles in line with Bristol’s recently advertised ‘Associate Dean of Eureka Moments.’
I appreciate that this will be a confusing time for all involved, so I’ve prepared a cut out and keep guide to these changes. New name badges will be issued accordingly.
| Vice Chancellor | King of Forever |
| PVC Research | Vision Conjuror & Associate Dean of the Inspiral Carpets |
| Faculty Deans | Magicians Most Royal |
| Dean of Graduate School | King of the Future People |
| Directors of Research | High Priests of the Eureka Temple |
| Professors | Emperors of Knowledge |
| Readers | Philosopher Princes |
| Senior Lecturers | Dukes of Didacticism |
| Lecturers | Earls of the Esoteric |
| Director of Research Services | Dream Maker/Consoler-in-Chief |
I’d be grateful if these new titles could be used in all future correspondence. The senior management is also working on appropriate forms of address for the new system. Whilst this is being finalised, it is best for all commoners to address anyone of rank or achievement simply as ‘my lord’ or ‘my lady’. We don’t want to get hung up on ceremony. Yet.
Photo by Johan Mouchet on Unsplash